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A theme that has been on my mind lately is letting go.
I have found that patience plays an important role here. We live in a society where needs have to be satisfied swiftly and where there are many impulses that ask for our attention.
Are we, or not, going to purchase a product which is on sale? Often it is available for a limited time only. This is a challenge for parents with young children who need (unlimited…) attention right away. Also, this is similar to the customer or boss who wants to see results yesterday. But also if you want to achieve your own goals faster.
How can you be patient in these situations?
A first step is to be aware of your own impatience or that of someone else. Where does this impatience come from? Has there been a miscommunication or is there an expectation? I was very sensitive to people who are standing impatiently behind me in line. I am aware of the sighs and moans. This made me impatient and nervous. Especially if I could not quickly hand over my debit card or the exact change to the cashier. Then I asked myself: “Who is impatient here now, and who is responsible for this?”. Not me for sure! Therefore, no reason to be nervous!
A second step can be to determine whether these needs are in line with your goals and values (See my Blog Happiness is simple to GRasP ). If this is not the case, you can easily take distance from them. Your goals should also include how you want to achieve them (your plan) and when that should be. So, you know what to do and how long it is going to take. If the need does not appear in your goals, you can add it as a goal and put a realistic deadline next to it. You can ask yourself if you really need to achieve this and keep in mind the phrase “Be careful what you ask for”. Often there are costs involved…
The most difficult thing is to let go of things of which you have no influence. I want to follow a specific training for a while now, but my preferred dates are fully booked already. I did let go of the desire of following this training after finding no alternative dates and locations. As soon as I let go, I received an email with an invitation to follow the training at my convenience.
Finally you can reward yourself (or others) for patience. This consists of an extra reward. In the 80’s, an experiment was performed was that called the “Marshmallow experiment”. Children were given a biscuit and were then left alone in a room. The adult promised an extra biscuit if the child had not eaten the biscuit when the adult would come back. On YouTube there are many examples about this experiment. Some children do not have the patience and eat the biscuit over time, others wait patiently and indeed, get an extra biscuit. This is called a delayed gratification. Patience pays off!
Maybe you (or your customers) also need extra rewards if you show patience. Patience is also letting go. This way, you can find peace and calmness.
How do you let go? Share them with us and let us know in the comment box below. I for sure, look forward to read from you!
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