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“You live your WHY, and it shows.”
That’s what a new friend said as I was telling her about what I do and love to do.
In previous articles, I wrote about how to bring your WHY to life and how to keep your WHY alive during your holiday. Examples include having the right intention before starting something or being of service to other people.
But there’s more, something deeper, that enables you to live your WHY so that it catches the attention of others.
This article is not about quick gains or fooling other people to influence them. It’s about being who you truly are.
Don’t show off
It’s not about showing off that you live your WHY. I do it subconsciously, and I am not even aware that I am in flow, being passionate or enthusiastic. Sure, I feel the energy, the joy, and the love. But I do not act as if I am living your WHY. I would not even know how to do that, and I am sure others would see it right away (my wife does!). And it costs me a lot of energy to act as someone I am not.
Know yourself
Acting as if I live my WHY is incongruent with who I am. It is showing that you don’t know yourself. I am turning 54 this September, and it took me some time to know myself. Mistakes, coaching sessions, and assessments helped me to get to know myself. By getting to know myself, I discovered my values, skills, drives, character strengths, and my WHY. It doesn’t matter how old you are, but knowing who you are and what makes you tick (and not) helps to be more authentic, true, and joyful. Living your WHY isn’t something you perform, it’s something who you are.
What would love do?
That means that you don’t make impulsive decisions when an opportunity arises (because you don’t want to deal with a missed opportunity). And also, you don’t want to procrastinate when you face a challenge. This takes up a lot of my attention and energy. So there’s a middle way. It is asking yourself what love would do in a certain situation. This gives me room to think and reflect before making a decision, but it will also motivate me to take action. It helps me make a decision from the heart, for the good of the whole. It will also moderate my precrastination.
Moderate precrastination
I recently read about precastination in a Dutch newspaper. Robert Dijkgraaf explains that precrastination is the opposite of procrastination. It is the impulsive urge to tackle everything that comes your way and to complete every task on a to-do list as quickly as possible.
Yes, I am a precrastinator. Just ask my family…It is rooted in my excessive need to be prepared for anything, both at work and in my private life. I will arrive at my appointments 30 to 60 minutes early. Why? There might be traffic, and I need enough time to change a tire. The latter has never happened to me yet. The thing is, I want to control what I can control, so I can deal better with the things that unexpectedly show up on my path. And I won’t blame myself when something happens that I could not have prepared for. This makes my life stressful when preparing, but it helps me enjoy things more on my way. Precrastination helps me to live my WHY, but I can be more aware of how my excessive need to be prepared influences the people I live and work with. If that is the case, it’s time to ask myself again what love would do.
Off days
And, of course, I have my off days too. Days when I am feeling less energetic, enthusiastic, or even sad. Those are the days I choose to be more reserved during workshops, presentations, or network events. Those are the days that I distance myself from others: I read, sleep, sleep, cocoon, hike, or jog.
A spiritual exercise
Every day (especially on off days), I contemplate and do a spiritual exercise. This is a personal experience, and I am convinced everyone can benefit from it.
My favorite spiritual exercise is the HU. Everyone, regardless of background and religion, can do this spiritual exercise. You can do it in the morning, during the day, or in the evening. You can close your eyes or keep them open. Find a quiet spot and sing HU (like the name Hugh) with reverence and love. Sing HU for a couple of minutes and then be quiet and listen. You can imagine a loved one giving you advice.
Singing HU is like singing a love song for the originator of all life. It makes me aware of who I truly am. It makes me calm, it fills me with joy and love. I cannot keep this joy and love to myself; I have to share it with the world. Perhaps this is what others see when I live my WHY.
Who are you and how do you express what you love? How do others see that? Let me know in the comment box below. I, and other readers of this article, look forward to read from you!
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