There many fears such as the fear of failing, losing something or someone or the fear of presenting in front of large groups. We have fears both at home and at work. This article gives you 4 ways that can help you overcome your fears so that you can enjoy life better.
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My previous article was about emotions and how you can deal with them so that you are more effective and experience more joy and happiness in your life.
One of the basic emotions is fear and in this blog I give you a new insight to master fear to enjoy life better.
The 3 biggest fears
Fear is an unpleasant emotion and there are countless of fears: fear for change, fear for making choices (and the effects thereof), fear of talking to groups, fear of losing something (or someone), fear of negotiation, fear to convince someone and we are not even talking about fear for flying, fear of small spaces or fear of dirt and filth (germaphobia).
You are often in your head (mind) because of fear. I feel fear like a knot in my stomach and sometimes it paralyzes me to take action.
I have written before about the 3 biggest fears that people experience: fear of success, fear of failure and the fear of judgement. I understand the fear of failure and fear of being judged, but fear of success? Who is afraid of being successful? It seems that people fear success because they think their environment expects them to be able to repeat and repeat this success. That is not always easy. Just think of successful entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs or artists such as Freddy Mercury. They have also often failed after being successful.
Tip 1: Turn fear into exhilaration
Recently I had a new insight on how to deal with fear. I read it in “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendriks. He writes about Dr. Perls who has developed the Gestalt therapy. This is a psychotherapy focused on personal responsibility.
Dr. Perls writes that fear is excitement without breath. Excitement and fear come from the same mechanism. Every fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing in it. But every excitement can change into to fear as soon as you hold your breath. I can imagine that if I see an accident happen on the road. I hold my breath. You too, right?
You cannot just put fear away. We want to get rid of it as quickly as possible by suppressing it, by ignoring it and by holding our breath. But that will never work. Fear grows by breathing less. The art of dealing with fear is to master it. You can do that by breathing deeply and calmly when you feel fear. Feel the fear instead of suppressing it. Celebrate it as if you were blowing out the candles of a cake on your birthday. If you do this, your fear will turn into excitement. If you continue to breathe, excitement turns into exhilaration. It is special that you are able to come into a state exhilaration yourself. It is a way to master fear.
That way you have more courage to confront, to make decisions, to give tasks (to delegate) and to stand for who you are.
Tips 2 & 3: Be grateful
I also have 2 other ways how to master fear:
2)Write down what you are grateful for
That can be small things such as that you are grateful for your phone with which you are reading this article or the delicious cup of coffee that you have just had.
I encourage you to personally thank someone for something he or she has done for you. Tell him / her how this helped you. Go and see that person, call or send a postcard (no email). What you can also do is post it on social media.
Now something very special happens to you when you take the above actions. In addition to excitement and joy, you now also create the possibility to let love flow. I experience love when I help others. And when there is love, there is no more room for fear. Through love you can overcome fear and there is no uncertainty.
…and take action!
Our reptile brain is always afraid of something big. Big goals such as looking for a new job, losing weight, quitting smoking or following a course. Breathe, show gratitude, take action and start with small goals. Then the excitement, the exhilaration, the creativity, the spontaneity and the love flows.
Tip 4: Reconnect with your WHY
Finally, in a moment of fear, it helps to reconnect with your Why, your purpose in life. This is positive and action-oriented. Your why is connected with a good feeling and there is less room for fear. Want to earn more about your Why? Read this article or contact me!
What fears are playing a role in your life at the moment? How do you deal with the emotion of fear both at home and in the office? Let me know in the comment field below. I and the other readers of this article are looking forward to reading from you!
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Have you seen an error in this article? Let me know! I am grateful!
Sources & further reading:
–The big Leap, Gay Hendricks
–Spiritual Wisdom on Conquering Fear, Harold Klemp