I often hear that people are not interested in discovering their WHY. They have numerous reasons ranging from “it seems to be a hype” to “I already have a purpose.” In this article, I have collected 16 reasons not to discover your own WHY. Maybe you can recognize some of them.
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For four years now, I have been helping people discover their WHY. I am convinced that it helps to experience more happiness, fulfillment, and love in life. There are so many benefits to being aware of your unique WHY. But when I start about this, I see (and feel) that people roll their eyes away. How is that possible? Below are 16 (possible) reasons:
I am already happy
I heard a story last week from a man who was completely happy to work on a production line. He didn’t have to think so much about his work. His passion was to act, and he liked nothing more than to perform Shakespeare on stage. While he worked on the assembly line, he could rehearse his lines for the play in his head and earn money at the same time.
Perhaps you already experience a lot of satisfaction with what you do, which makes you happy. That’s good for you. Keep going.
What is my WHY?
Your WHY is your unique contribution that has a certain impact on the world. A WHY is always positive and action-oriented, and it is created in your teenage years. For more information about your WHY and how to find it, read this article.
It takes too much time
A WHY session with me takes three to four hours (at one time), and then another return session of about an hour. That is roughly equivalent to the time needed to view season 1 of “Lupin” on Netflix. It would help if you also take time to prepare for the first session, and there is one more exercise to do before the return session.
In total, you have to spend 8 hours to create a definitive WHY statement. The total time needed to view season 1 of “New Amsterdam” on Netflix is 15 and a half hours.
It takes too much effort
It is a hassle to schedule the session, make time to prepare the session, get through the session, do the exercise, and then you also have to go back to a return session. What will also take effort is to live your WHY. This means to repeat your WHY throughout the day by sharing it with others (in conversations, on resumes, social media) and making choices in line with your WHY.
It now takes less effort to do those difficult things that help me live my WHY (think about acquisition, social media planning, and other hassles that have nothing to do with training or coaching).
Also, I had a lot of trouble saying “no” and disappoint people. Because I know how to communicate my WHY clearly and explain that something does not fit my WHY, it is easier to say “no” to people. The great thing is that they understand and appreciate that I can explain it honestly.
It takes the most effort to adjust your behavior. If your motivation is the right one and you know what it will bring you, effort no longer plays a role.
It’s too vague
Your unique WHY is based on feelings and emotions. That is not tangible, measurable, or rational. How do you explain that something just “feels good”?
Many coaching sessions are about emotions and feelings. Perhaps this is vague and woo-woo, but it determines our behavior, actions, and consequences. These can indeed be tangible and tangible.
There is nothing wrong with reacting rationally or logically, but your brain is built to react emotionally first and then logically. The emotions determine what will happen, so if you want to connect with someone, you will first want to connect with their emotions. Expressing your WHY can help with this.
Interestingly, the Golden Circle theory (the Why is part of it) is based on Simon Sinek and his team’s scientific research. He has researched countless companies and individuals to find out the reasons why they are successful or not.
It’s a hype
It has been more than ten years since Simon Sinek introduced the Golden Circle in this TED talk.
You are now reading this article explaining why you should NOT discover your WHY shows that we are beyond the hype. Because then there is criticism, and there is a consolidation of providers and methods are developed to put a service into practice as well as possible.
Also, we have wondered for a very long why we are here and what our purpose is on earth.
I don’t have a WHY
Everyone has their own unique WHY. Even if you are not aware of it, it is up to you to discover it and live it if you are not happy, want more satisfaction, or desire more love.
Someone else already has the same WHY as me!
That is possible. Perhaps your WHY is the same as mine:
“Serve and facilitate so that others can elevate themselves and experience more happiness and love.”
Yet your stories and the emotions behind them are very different from mine. They make it unique, and people see it in your eyes when you say your WHY aloud.
I do not influence my life
You may have a limitation in life (illness or disability) that makes it difficult to influence your life. When I express my WHY, I feel an energy and clarity rise within me. It helps me make conscious choices. I could have done something else today than to write this article, and you wouldn’t have read it. I also would find it harder to empathize with people who don’t want to discover their WHY.
I already know my WHY!
Congratulations! That is great for you! Would you like to share it in the comment box below?
It is too expensive
An individual WHY-session and a return session with me cost E 453.75 (including VAT). It will help you throughout your life, and it can help you make those choices (advanced education, to look for another job, launching a new product …) so that you will earn back more than the investment.
In comparison: A new iPhone 12 costs E 812.10, and after a few years, you will need a new one.
I already know what I’m good at
I think that I can ski well and that I am good at cleaning the house. It even gives me energy. To some extent, I get a sense of satisfaction from a clean house until I see the kitchen after dinner. Your WHY helps you do the right things that contribute to the world. Then you may realize that it is better to do less or delegate some things (that you are good at) and that there are other talents to discover, develop and express.
I already have a mission, (vision), and purpose
Excellent. I wrote a blog about this. You can read it here. In short: I am convinced that every person here on earth has the same purpose, which is to serve. Just take a look at nature. A bee does not wonder what it will do on one certain day. A vision is an ideal world in which you live, and your mission is those actions necessary to realize your ideal world. Your WHY is your compass to make sure you’re doing the right things.
The compass (and your purpose) always remains the same in this life. Your mission and your vision can change depending on where you stand in life, which organization you support, or the company you work for.
I can discover it by myself
That’s what I thought, but I discovered a lot more and remembered more details and feelings by doing a WHY session with someone else. That’s because a partner keeps asking questions and doesn’t already know everything. As a result, my WHY became stronger and clearer to me. I even did several WHY sessions with different partners to get and formulate my WHY more clearly.
I’m afraid to live my WHY
Me too sometimes. I am very excited to stand in front of 400 people or call one person for an assignment. I’m also worried that I might become successful. Then there is the possibility that I have to let go of things (opportunities, relationships, services, products, or behavior).
I have noticed that it helps when I ask for help, take small steps, and build some security. It has to do with courage, mindset and daring to step out of your comfort zone. If you know why you are doing something, then almost nothing can go wrong. This is a learning process for me too.
I’d rather a session with someone else
This is fine. In a WHY session, we talk about your personal stories. They can be painful and intimate. You may not feel comfortable sharing those with a stranger. So, it must feel good to share it with someone and that you trust that person.
When in doubt, there is always an intake interview with me to determine whether it is good to work together. You can also ask a friend to help you because Simon Sinek’s book “Find your Why” describes exactly how such a session goes. I have been helping people find their WHY for four years, and I am convinced that I can help you in a good way to discover your WHY and to formulate it powerfully. I also help you clarify what you have to do (and how) to live your WHY.
As this is my 150th blog, I am offering a free WHY session!
There are two conditions (just like with any coaching): You must be motivated and take responsibility for your actions.
Interested? Contact me today because I only do 1 session for FREE (in Dutch, English, French or German).
What are the reasons you don’t want to discover your WHY? Let me know in the comment field below. The other readers of this article. and I are looking forward to reading from you!
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